Do you want to get better at managing your emotions?

You can! Emotional regulation is a skill anyone can develop with practice. Drawing on insights from Leonard Mlodinow’s Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking, this approach starts with three core actions: accept, reframe, and express. These steps form a powerful foundation for building emotional intelligence and taking control of your emotional responses.

Step 1: Accept

Acknowledge what’s happening. Focus your energy on what you can control as often, that’s just your own thoughts and reactions.

Why it matters:

• You take back control and feel empowered to influence outcomes.
• You break the cycle of unhelpful, reactive behaviour.

Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation. It’s the first step in choosing a more constructive path forward.

Step 2: Reframe

Shift your perspective. Search for the silver lining. Ask yourself how the situation might help you grow, or what you can learn from it.

Why it matters:

• You reduce the emotional weight of the situation by seeing it differently.
• You ease stress and gain clarity.

Reframing helps you stay proactive and solution-focused, even when things feel tough.

Step 3: Express

Let your emotions out (constructively!). Write them down in a journal, talk to a trusted friend, or speak to a coach or colleague.

Why it matters:

• You give your feelings a voice, which makes them easier to understand and manage.
• You invite empathy and support from others, which strengthens relationships and connection.

Suppressing emotions only stores up problems. Expression is a key part of emotional intelligence and wellbeing.

Making it work in real life

Emotional regulation takes time and practice, it’s not about getting it right straight away. Be kind to yourself as you build these habits. The more you practise, the more naturally emotional awareness and control will come.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just a “nice to have,” it’s an essential life skill, both personally and professionally. With the right tools, you can learn to use your emotions to your advantage, turning difficult moments into opportunities for growth.

Want to deepen your emotional skills?

Explore more on how emotions act as vital sources of information in this post. Or get in touch to find out how our EQ-led training programmes can help you and your team build powerful emotional insight and resilience.

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