10 Jan 2024
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Mastering assertiveness: your guide to confident communication!

By Carolyn Quainton in Behaviour, Communication, Resilience

Do you want to enhance your communication skills and handle difficult situations with confidence? Assertiveness lies at the heart of effective expression—it empowers you to speak clearly while respecting others. Whether you’re pursuing leadership training or looking to build your resilience at work, assertiveness can transform the way you engage with colleagues and clients alike.

In this guide, we outline key assertiveness techniques that can strengthen your communication and boost your self-confidence, essential for both professional and personal growth.

Develop assertiveness through practical communication skills training

Assertiveness techniques serve as adaptable tools you can apply across a variety of situations. Begin by practising them in low-stakes conversations before using them in emotionally charged discussions. With consistent effort and the right guidance, such as structured communication skills training, you’ll gain confidence over time. Let’s explore some core strategies to help you assert yourself effectively.

1. Basic assertion: speak up with clarity

Use “I” statements to express your needs, values, or feelings directly. For example:

  • “I need to leave by 5 o’clock today.”

  • “I feel positive about how we resolved this issue.”

Speak clearly and avoid over-explaining. This direct communication style reduces misunderstandings and builds mutual respect, key outcomes of strong communication training.

2. Empathic assertion: balance confidence with compassion

Empathic assertion combines empathy with direct expression. It acknowledges others’ feelings while communicating your own needs:

  • “I understand your concerns about the new procedure. However, I need your cooperation until it changes.”

  • “I know you’re busy, Rowan, but I have a request I’d like to discuss.”

This method helps reduce friction and supports healthier working relationships, ideal for resilience and leadership training programmes.

3. Consequence assertion: set clear boundaries

Use this technique when someone’s behaviour continues to ignore agreed boundaries. State the consequences calmly:

  • “If this happens again, I’ll need to escalate it to management.”

  • “I can’t allow my team to collaborate unless everyone has equal access to resources.”

By using consequence assertion appropriately, you reinforce accountability and fairness. essential traits in effective leadership.

4. Discrepancy assertion: address inconsistencies professionally

When actions don’t align with agreements, use discrepancy assertion to clarify the situation:

  • “We agreed that Project A was the priority. Why the sudden shift to Project B?”

  • “Zara, you’ve spoken about improving cooperation, but some comments have hindered our collaboration. Let’s talk about it.”

This approach promotes transparency and alignment, key principles in both team leadership and professional development.

5. Negative feelings assertion: express emotions constructively

Express how others’ actions affect you, without becoming aggressive:

  • “When you interrupt me in meetings, I feel frustrated and lose my confidence. Please let me finish speaking.”

This method maintains emotional balance and encourages open dialogue, forming a cornerstone of emotional intelligence training.

6. The broken record technique: stay firm, stay calm

This technique involves calmly repeating your message to reinforce your stance without escalating conflict:

Kate: “Can you work late tomorrow night?”
Dave: “I’m afraid I can’t.”
Kate: “But I really need you to work late.”
Dave: “I understand, but I can’t.”

It’s an excellent tool for negotiation, boundary-setting, and assertiveness training in professional settings.

Build your confidence through regular practice

To truly master assertiveness, make these techniques part of your regular practice. Start small, then progress to more challenging interactions. Keep a log of your experiences to reflect and improve. Through leadership training or targeted communication skills workshops, you can enhance your ability to speak up with clarity and composure.

Conclusion: assertiveness is a lifelong skill

Assertiveness is not just a communication technique, it’s a professional advantage. With practice and intention, you’ll boost your self-confidence, manage conflicts more effectively, and strengthen your working relationships. These skills are vital whether you’re leading teams, managing stakeholders, or simply aiming to communicate more effectively.

Ready to improve your assertiveness and empower your teams?

Understood offers expert leadership training and communication skills training tailored to develop assertiveness, emotional intelligence, and resilience. Get in touch today to find out how we can support your organisation’s growth.

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